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The Lighter Side

  • A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject
            – Sir Winston Churchill
  • I think it would be a good idea
            – M.K. Gandhi (in reply to someone asking what he thought of Western Civilization)
  • A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on
            – Sir Winston Churchill
  • Rumor travels faster, but it don’t stay put as long as truth
            – Will Rogers
  • Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former
            – Albert Einstein
  • I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book
            – Grouch Marx
  • Outside a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read
            – Groucho Marx
  • Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others
            – Groucho Marx
  • Live within your income. Even if you have to borrow money to do so
            – Josh Billings
  • Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip
            – Will Rogers
  • USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population
            – David Letterman
  • Economists use statistics like drunks use lampposts: for support more than for light
            – Winston Churchill
  • Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day
            – Polish Proverb
  • Predictions are hard to make, especially about the future
            – Yogi Berra
  • It will fluctuate
            – J.P. Morgan (in reply to someone asking for his expert view on the stock market)
  • Let blockheads read what blockheads wrote
            – Warren Buffett (quoting Lord Chesterfield)
  • I am not a speed reader. I am a speed understander
            – Isaac Asimov
  • Love is the answer
            – but while you’re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions
            – Woody Allen
  • A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain
            – Robert Frost
  • If you owe the bank money, you are in trouble. If you owe the bank a lot of money the bank is in trouble
            – Anonymous Parable
  • I have been broke three or four times, but fortunately for me I’m not an MBA, so I didn’t know I was broke
            – T. Boone Pickens
  • I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying
            – Woody Allen
  • It is not the return on my investment that I am concerned about, its the return of my investment
            – Will Rogers
  • I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter
            – Sir Winston Churchill
  • When men and women agree, it is only in their conclusions – their reasons are always different
            – George Santayana
  • Of the billionaires I have known, money just brings out the basic traits in them. If they were jerks before they had money, they are now simply jerks with a billion dollars
            – Warren E. Buffett
  • Call on God, but row away from the rocks
            – Indian Proverb
  • The market, like the Lord, helps those who help themselves. But, unlike the Lord, the market does not forgive those who know not what they do
            – Warren E. Buffett
  • If only God would give me a clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank
            – Woody Allen
  • Never judge a book by its movie
            – J. W. Eagan
  • A classic is a book that everyone wants to have read and nobody want to read
            – Mark Twain
  • If you think education is expensive, try ignorance
            – Derek Bok
  • I buy expensive suits . . . they just look cheap on me
            – Warren Buffett
  • There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval
            – George Santayana
  • How could economics not be behavioral? If it isn’t behavioral, what the hell is it?
            – Charles T. Munger
  • I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by
            – Douglas Adams, Author, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
  • The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources
            – Albert Einstein
  • Ironically, 3 out of 4 workers sitting in cubicles are expected to think outside the box
            – Kenneth Cole
  • Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger
            – Franklin P. Jones
  • Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away and you’ll have their shoes
            – Unknown
  • I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the truth – even if it costs him his job
            – Samuel Goldwyn
  • Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern hospitality
            – John F. Kennedy
  • Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
            – George Carlin
  • Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened
            – Sir Winston Churchill
  • If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide
            – M.K. Gandhi

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